It may sound pathetic and horrible but I never wanted much out of life. I only wanted a very simple and plain life. I have always enjoyed simple things in life, a glorious sunset, the morning dew in the NC mountains, a Tiffany bracelet, a handpainted teapot.
Never asked for much from God. I had one prayer, one request, one goal in life.
My life's goal since the age of 13 was to be a wife, mother and president of the PTA. That is it. In that order. Every step I made, every "A" awarded in class, every class project was for that goal. And in my eyes it was a single goal - wife, mother and president of the PTA was my 1 and only goal. I would have a family to love me and I could work for my community.
But there was no answered prayer, so I prayed harder, I fasted more and became a more vigilant member of my church, I was a hard working member of 3 different ministries, and offered leadership to the Grief Minsitry. And for years, I waited, and watched while life laughed at me and I lanuguished on....I told God on more than one occasion that He had forgotten about me and He hated me. And yet I still attended church, for weekly bible and church services. Because through it all I knew he knew my heart's desire.
And then life interupted my plans. It is not for me to say whether or not the interuptions were fair or not that was not my concern. I had a hollow bout with cancer, and then a diagnosis of brain tumor, will do that to you. I was stunned. I was not angry or bitter I was just stunned. And through it all, I could see my 1 goal slipping away.
It was apparent the one prayer, the one goal since age 12 was not to be. And then it happened, all it took was one blind date to Dave & Busters on a Friday night and that has made all the difference. Because when it seems that there is no way out - when it seems that you are the end of your rope when it seems as if God is not listening, or is not there by your side is not present know this - in the midst of the darkness he is closer to you than he ever was. Because after I came out of surgery to have 3cm by 1.4 cm removed from my brain, God was there, my Father was there and my friend, my man, "Mr. Goode" was there. It has been 3.5 years and all is well and all continues to be well....
"You don't live life, life lives you"....
