Glad I had a brain tumor - Part II

When the doctor stood by my bedside and told me I had a brain tumor.  I was shocked, stunned, and done.  I wanted to leave the hospital so I could call my family and friends and tell them that I was going to die of a brain tumor.  Those were my thoughts in the hospital.  I returned to my home, my apartment, my sanctuary.  My first call was to my mother, my rock.  We talked, and talked, and talked and talked and finally she asked, "so what are you going to do?".   I replied, " I will have to place the Credit Corner on the back burner and get a job, with good insurance, then she closed the call with, "Remember Mommie loves you", and I said, "I love you too Momma"

On my couch I breathed and drank water and I thought about everything that had happened up to that point in my life and it ALL made sense now.  The reason I had no children and the reason I had not married.  I had failed at my only two goals in life.  Now it made sense and I was relieved.  I wrote my obituary for the newspaper,  and the obituary for my services in Houston and Greensboro.  Wrote letters to people who positively impacted my life, addressed the envelopes placed them in a decorative shoe box and left instructions for my Mom. 

I have always been accused of thinking too much.  And I do.  I will think and think and think until I am unable to sleep.  My record for being awake. thinking, reading and researching is 72 hours.  Not a record that I am proud of at all.  In this case it worked out for my benefit.  

The type of brain tumor I had was a meningioma.  A meningioma is a tumor that arises from the meninges — the membranes that surround your brain and spinal cord.  Most meningioma's are noncancerous also known as benign. 

Within the 72 hours I researched/signed up and contacted via email:

• Top 3 brain tumor hospitals in the US 1) Mass General Hospital in Boston  2) MD Anderson in Houston and 3) Duke University in Durham NC
• Type of brain tumor survival rates thanks to the NIH (National Institute of Health)
• If you have to have a brain tumor - a meningioma is the best one to have because it is slow growing and non-cancerous
• Support groups for people with brain tumors
• Signed up for the 2 day MD Anderson Symposium on Brain Tumors
• Set up 2nd and 3rd opinions online - and arranged for my MRI film to be sent and reviewed by the doctors at the hospitals mentioned above

BRAIN TUMOR TIME LINE

• In January 2005 I was diagnosed with a brain tumor
• In April 2005 I began working a job with great benefits in Houston TX
• In April of 2005 my birthday came and went.  It was nice celebration.  There were no family members present.  There were excuses, none that I remember.  There were church members present.  There were friends present.
• An MRI in June 2005 showed there was no growth in the tumor
• In October 2005 I went on a blind date with a guy named Rodman - he was nice but he lived in Dallas
• In January 2006 another MRI showed no growth in the tumor
• In April 2006 I moved to Dallas and choose to work at a company that had an excellent insurance packet.  I have had Managers, Directors and Vice Presidents ask me "Why are you working here" - I would respond with a smile. The reason because I had to have a brain tumor removed.  Point, Blank and the Period!
• In January 2007 - the brain tumor was successfully removed

And today is a new day.  I smile and am perplexed when people say I am strong.  I don't see it.  Many of you have endured much greater pain than me.  A loss of a an uncle that was like a father, the loss of a parent to a disease that allowed them to live and yet cannot remember you.  I have friends who were widows and widowers in their 20's and 30's with children.  Friends who have had to bury their children. They are strong because they continue to show me how to love, how to forgive and how to move foreword.

When I look back on my life, it has been an extraordinary life.  I have worked on winning political campaigns, traveled to many countries, and met fascinating people who are now friends. I arrived at Prairie View A&M University with a dream and suitcase and left with friends who are now family.  I became a member of a church that took me under their wing and made certain my every spiritual need was met.  They gave me wings of faith to endure the removal of the brain tumor, and the deaths of two parents.  So when I wail about the deaths of my parents so close together, or the fact that I am not a mother or president of the PTA, it is because I have FAITH.

It is because I know God for myself and I know God can, and I know God will according to his plans.  It saddens me that God's plan does not include my hopes and dreams.  But with much prayer my hopes and dreams will change, and then and only then will God will answer my prayers.  Always, remember today is a new day. 

Good Morning: You have a Brain Tumor - Part I

It never fails. I get a text or a FB message weekly asking if I could speak to this person or that person because their friend or family member has recently been diagnosed with a brain tumor.   They attempt to articulate the what, how, when, where, and the inevitable how did you make it through questions.  I tell them the following story:

It was a typical January Friday night for me in Houston.   I picked up my laundry, ran to get a few items at the local Kroger.  So few items I just used the part where people place their children, ordered Super Nachos at the drive through and drove home.  By the time I got to my apartment door a 19 minute round trip I felt most ill.  I should have known something was seriously wrong with me after all, I could not finish eating my nachos.  I could not put my groceries up in the cabinets and my neatly folded laundry from the Laundromat remained in my unlocked car.  My headache was so intense, with each heart beat,  my brain would pound against my skull.

On Saturday I tried to self medicate with aspirin, tried to drink water thinking I was dehydrated. I could no longer take it.  I called my doctor and he said to go St Joseph's Hospital. I did.  Once I arrived in the ER I explained to the staff that I was allergic to penicillin, any form of it.  They like most staff rolled their eyes.  The ER doctor asked "...when was the last time you were given it" I said  when I was a child.  And  she rolled her eyes again.  She administered penicillin I began to loose my hearing, and I began to scream "I can not hear out of my left ear" all the while having a banging headache.    I second guessed myself for going to the hospital.  What a waste I remember thinking. 

I asked the ER doctor to check me for meningitis.  I explained to her that my Mom's friend had visited Vegas and caught meningitis and by the time they tested her it was too late - my mom's friend  died.  Again with the rolling eyes - and yet I was steadfast.  I wanted my the spinal tap.  She sais she was not an expert at it.   I replied in between  my head pounding "and...you're...an...ER...doctor...Lawd....help....us....all..".

She called the Neurosurgeon who was not at the hospital.  He was at home - he was "On Call".   He came into the hospital to perform the spinal tap.  He entered the ER, shook my hand, explained what a spinal tap was and gave me comforting words such as "...don't move because if you do I may paralyze you."   I couldn't even reply to him because he scared the crap out of me.  Removing the spinal fluid and diagnosing meningitis seemed as if it took FOREVER... he removed 3 vials of fluid, placed them in his breast coat pocket, patted them, and said he was going to take them to the lab.  He must have known something.  He was taking the vials himself to the lab.   Minutes later I was whisked to a semi private room, and soon thereafter I was giving some medicine and wheeled to an MRI.  The medicine they gave me was niiiiiccccceeeee.  I remember waking up the next morning.   The nice doctor was by my bedside.  He said, "Good Morning you have a brain tumor".  I was incoherent for about maybe 5 minutes.  It was as if my hearing was leaving me again.  And then I remember looking for a piece of paper and a pen to write down what he was saying.  I could not find a paper and pen for nothing nor could I find my purse,  I always carry a pen. 

He wrote down with his very nice Monte Blanc pen:  Meningioma Brain Tumor 3.5 cm x 5.1 on the left parietal of the brain.  There were no tears, I just wanted to leave.  After all he told me I had a brain tumor.  I really didn't want to hear anything else he had to say.   It was over.  I was going to die.  The banging headache stopped because he said I had viral Meningitis and they gave me  a 500 mg something for the pain.  He said there were no antibiotics for viral meningitis and he believes it was transmitted from the cart at the Kroger's.  NOW  you know why there are WIPES where the shopping carts are located. 

He said I would just have to "wait it out".  He explained I needed to drink PLENTY of water because the removal of spinal fluid would make my head ache even more than before. 

For the next 3 months: 

• I would drink a gallon of water each day, attend bible study once a week, attended Sunday church and came home and rested on my couch.  
• There were no tears
• I had to plan. My funeral, my 39th birthday party because I wasn't sure there would be a 40th and I had to begin calling family and friends.